Speed Dating in Sex And The City - "Dont Ask Dont Tell"
By Hana R. February 12, pm ated February 13, pm. A year-old law student with two roommates in Washington Heights. A year-old private equity exec and dad of two, from Cos Cob, Conn. A year-old college dean, who traveled all the way from Philadelphia for Sunday brunch. Lying in bed and squinting through tears, I downloaded Hinge and started scrolling. I had two goals when I dove back into dating.
To avoid wasting excess mental energy on trivial stuff, I systemized my dating look. I found a go-to first-date outfit: well-fitting jeans, cute flats and a sleeveless paisley blouse that showed just the right amount of cleavage or a white eyelet shirt, if I was tan.
Instead of clearing my calendar for dates, I wove men into my plans.
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To avoid losing hours commuting, I scheduled the bulk of my dates near my Upper East Side neighborhood. I got good at this. I even managed to make time for romance when I flew to Las Vegas for a conference: One fortunate dude met me for a romantic weekend of hiking, eating and putting a hotel room to good use.
There were too many guys, and not enough time.
Screw that. Finally, I decided to be honest - even if it risked turning people off. I told men that I was still hurting from my breakup, that I was afraid to be tied down. Anyone who I had a real shot with would need to understand that, and being myself made the dating process feel like less of a burden.
Dating burnout is real.
The Problem With Dating in Los Angeles (or any major city)
Looking back, I can see the signs that I was getting a little too deep in the Hinge binge. The times I accidentally ghosted some lovely guys. The jolt of anxiety I felt X-ing away a potential suitor. Remember that Grand Central Oyster Bar date? It turned into a second, third and fourth rendezvous - all in one week.
I was having a blast, but hesitated to commit.
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Hana R. More On: online dating. Welcome to my yearlong dating experiment in NYC - a city famous for its cutthroat singles scene.
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